A New Beginning
I know practically no one follows me and nobody cares about the legit shit I post… but I just need to type this out, read it, post it, and have it out there.
There are so many melodramatic people and so many people who just love to stir things up. It seemed bad in middle school when the guidance counselors would take us out in the hall and make us apologize to one another; it got terrible in high school… Rumors flying everywhere about people I’d never even heard of before and girls fighting because someone else was dating a guy they had a crush on. I’m starting to realize there are more people I can’t trust than I can..
I’m also realizing that when I was younger, the statement “I’ll never be one of those people to lose all contact with friends” was just a phase, and at this moment, I find myself wanting to do just that.
See, there’s always been these close friends of mine that could talk and talk and talk about other people behind their backs. As time went on, they got better and less afraid to say what they thought. I did too, but I was never one to talk shit unless I knew exactly what I was talking about. Also, there was always this problem with telling friends things that other friends said, e.i. secrets, personal issues, troubles, gossip, etc. No matter how good of friends we are, I’ve come to firmly believe that we are all enemies secretly.
I just feel like if I were to sever all ties with everyone from high school, with the exception of maybe 2 people, I would feel better and it would just be healthier for me. I’m starting college in the Fall and I’m going to make plenty of new friends. Mature ones, hopefully. And I just need a new beginning; a new start in my life.
I’ve found an amazing man to call mine, and that’s a start, but to complete the process, I just need to disappear to all these “friends” and create a new life. No I’m not going to pretend to die and change my name. I’m just simply going to cut off all contact with old souls.
To all my friends who might read this, or who are wondering what happened to me and why I’m not around, I love you. I loved the time we were together and all the fun shit we did. But I had to get away from certain people, and in order to that, I had to get away from the people who were connected to them, thus leaving everyone behind just to leave a few. I know I’ll miss you, and I probably do now as you’re reading this, but I can’t take the drama anymore or the gossip. I need to know I have people I can trust. And I can’t trust any of you. Please understand that.
I’m contemplating changing my number and deleting all people I want to cut the line to off Facebook and Twitter and even here on Tumblr… I’ll probably do both very soon. My phone upgrade is due in a month and I’ll change it then. If I do text you with my new number, I’ll ask that you not let anyone, and I mean ANYONE, know you have it. Don’t even let it be known that you still keep contact with me. And I’d ask that if it did come that someone knows you are, you would ask me before giving my number or info out to anyone, again, ANYONE.
My closest friends might think I’m being selfish, and I am. I don’t want a circle of backstabbers anymore. Know that not all of them are, but in order to leave one, you must leave the ones connected to them, as I said before. I’m doing myself a favor and lifting a weight off my shoulders.
There. I got it out. Cheers.